This Way to Happy: Glimmer Gazing
What if I told you that glimmers, like triggers, are life preserving, life enhancing, and even lifesaving? Our autonomic nervous system is not only designed to scan, interpret, and respond to danger but equally responsible for noticing moments of safety and connection. If both are equally important, why does it seem that triggers seem to be on the tip of everyone’s tongue, while glimmers aren’t given a voice?
Triggers are powerful because in many cases they have been used by our brains to protect us from being in harm's way or to remind us of a dangerous path previously taken. The brain perceives triggers as a threat and causes a reaction like fear, panic, or agitation. It’s an evolutionary response that helps us detect and deal with threats. However, there is a glitch in the system. Our brains, while highly skilled, haven’t been able to master how to discern between the severity of detected threats. The near instantaneous sequence of hormonal changes and physiological responses that help us respond to immediate danger by fighting or moving to safety, can also overreact to stressors that are not life threatening, such as traffic jams, work pressure, news events or family challenge, .throwing us into a triggered state by:
Activating our sympathetic nervous system and sending us into fight or flight or signaling the dorsal (back) vagal nervous system to freeze or shut down. Regularly experiencing negative emotions and triggering of the “fight or flight” response has been associated with the development of cardiovascular disease, GI problems, and sleep difficulties that can lead to a weakened immune system, hypertension, heart attack, stroke, and other health problems as well as leave us feeling like we’ve lost agency, are trapped, or unable to get out of a situation.
Shifting us towards anger, or urging us to get away or to shut down. These shifts can be subtle or sudden, and even go unnoticed. However, the impact on our nervous system is notable and guess how it shows up in our body… you guessed it, STRESS.
Our triggered state is causing more and more stress in our bodies and external forces seem to be using those “triggers” at an increasing rate (that’s a discussion for another time), which is leaving folks feeling a bit weary. We have become more comfortable telling stories about our triggers. And though that practice has its benefits, the pervasiveness of “triggering events” is resulting in a “triggered state” becoming more deeply entrenched in our overall well-being. What’s the result? Right, again. It’s more stress…and with it all the havoc it causes on our physical bodies and mental state.
Is there an antidote to our collective “triggered state”? YES.
Three Cheers for Glimmers – Hip, Hip, Happy.
Just like those moments that trigger us, we have micro-moments that our brains use to signal ease and comfort in our bodies. Coined by Deb Dana as Glimmers, these are the times we feel calm, confident, connected and grounded. They can release your body from a state of immobilization and into a sense of safety. Just like Triggers, you feel Glimmers inside your body, there’s an energy around them that can be powerful but with the opposite effect – Happiness. However, because they don’t require our attention in the same way for survival, we tend to let them pass without telling any story about why they’ve happened or what caused them. This is a missed opportunity.
The thing is that the part of the nervous system that recognizes triggers is a much older part of the nervous system from an evolutionary standpoint, the neural network for glimmers is newer, requiring us to be more diligent and intentional in our practice of glimmer gazing.
Glimmer gazing is noticing, naming and savoring the micro-moments of calm, safety, and connection. With repetition the brain will not only mark it but will develop its very own neural network dedicated to recognizing glimmers. This is vital because those neural networks are responsible for our health and well-being.
Glimmer Gazing: Make it Your New Favorite Pastime
Ready to sign up for more Glimmers? Good news it’s easy…but it does require a bit of focus and practice. Just like all things that are good for you. Here is your guide to get your brain on the power of Glimmers.
Step one: Notice it.
Glimmers are often missed, especially if we are rushing through our day. So the first step is to decide to intentionally look for them. How do you recognize a glimmer?
Glimmers may show up as a spark, warmth, or feeling of joy when seeing or sensing something in your environment, even if it’s for a fleeting moment.
Go ahead, name a Glimmer from today. In case you need some help, here are some examples: seeing a friendly face, pleasant sounds (laughter, wind chimes, ocean waves), tasty things (a family recipe, favorite dish at a restaurant, chocolate), the warmth of sun on your face, admiring a garden, lighting a candle, smell of clean sheets or perhaps that really great yoga class this morning. There is no moment too small to be noticed as a glimmer. One of my personal “go to” glimmers is any time I see a Boxer dog, because it offers me a moment to remember my Oscar.
Step two: Name it.
When you notice a glimmer, take a moment to really notice how it shows up in your body, you may notice a slight smile on your face, a feeling of warmth in your heart or belly, a spark of energy or even a quickening of your step. Now that you’ve connected to the glimmer, give it a name. If you have time, create a story about the glimmer, ask yourself:
Does this Glimmer show up for me often?
Does it represent my values or something I like about myself?
Do I associate something specific from my past with this Glimmer?
By adding a bit of context to your named Glimmer you are developing new positive neural networks. What’s a positive neural network you ask? The simple answer is that our brains are capable of getting neurons together to more efficiently work together and collaborate to promote happiness, connection, and inner peace.
Step three: Savor it.
Once you’ve noticed and named your Glimmer, try and put the moment in slow motion to concentrate and capture the whole experience. Let the Glimmer linger in your body and mind. It can be a mindful pause, in the midst of the moment or through reflection at the end of your day. When we take the time to savor a Glimmer, you allow time for the benefits of the neurobiological cascade to calm your nervous system. This contributes to the development of positive neural networks, insight into what you value, understanding to what provides meaning to your life, and a pathway to experience more positive emotions.
Step four: Receive the benefits.
By creating a practice of Glimmer Gazing you will give your brain a “happy place” to go and receive ease and comfort. Your well-being will get a boost in these three powerful ways:
Glimmers help actively regulate your nervous system. Beautifully, they cause us to feel more relaxed and open to connecting with others, ourselves, and the world.
Glimmers help to create balance within our nervous system by building a reservoir of positive emotions to cope with stress and setbacks, reducing cortisol and introducing feel good neuro-transmitters like serotonin and dopamine.
When we routinely and intentionally notice glimmers we build new neural pathways that provide balance to the neural networks wired to pay attention to negative events. Our brains become more skilled at recognizing glimmers, which begins to shape your nervous system so that we feel more grounded, connected, and calm.
Time for Your Glimmers to Shine
Now that you have the guide for Glimmer Gazing, your challenge for this next week is to start each morning by taking a moment to close your eyes and imagine a moment that brings you the feeling of calm and safety; let it wash over you and notice where it settles into your body. This simple activity is priming your nervous system to recognize the next glimmer in your day.
Remember, it’s easier than it sounds. Our brains are hardwired to search out those pesky triggers. But I promise the more you practice Glimmer Gazing the more your brain will take notice and adapt to finding safety and joy in the ease and comfort of life. Now get out there, enjoy those sunsets, feel the warmth of that big hug, and love those adorable pups. Let those Glimmers shine.
